


The Holidays are Here

by kyloren_bensolo01



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Fix-It, Fix-It of Sorts, Grief/Mourning, Major Character Undeath
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:33:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24672385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyloren_bensolo01/pseuds/kyloren_bensolo01
Summary: it is a year after the Rise of Skywalker. The holidays are indeed here and everyone but Rey is celebrating. She has been feeling empty and all alone because of Ben's death on Exegol. She can't even feel him in the force though she's tried. She's beginning to think that not even his spirit will appear to her. All she wants for Christmas is for Ben to come back to her, even if he is just a force ghost. And she must ask herself this question: is anyone ever really gone?
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	1. Chapter 1

The holidays were truly the most beautiful time of year for the New Republic. There were lights everywhere on the buildings and everyone was feeling extra cheerful since the First Order and Palpatine had officially been defeated. On every single planet there were different types of celebration no matter where you were. From Corasount to Naboo to Tatoonie. Everyone of all shapes and sizes was celebrating. There were light festivals, caroling and on the colder planets everyone loved to see the snow. Things were still tense with the remnants of the first order still out there but everyone still tried to celebrate.

Well everyone but Rey that is.

It had been a whole year since Rey and lost Ben and it wasn't getting any easier. She would eat alone, not even with her friends. Finn would always ask her what was wrong but she couldn't even bring herself to talk to him. "Rey I'm here for you," he had said to her one day. "You can tell me anything. I can sense your feelings." How on earth could she tell him that she had fallen in love with the man who had called himself Kylo Ren. The same man who had tortured her and then sliced Finn's back after killing his own father?? And that she mourned for never being able to get to know her soulmate, Ben Solo. She would cry at night when no one could hear her. She had reached out into the force but hadn't felt his presence at all. She had seen Luke and Leia but never Ben. She hadn't even felt him sense that fateful day on Exegol. Why hadn't he come to see her? It felt like a gaping hole in her chest where there used to be a bond with him. She had tried several times to open up the bond but nothing had happened. Was his spirit too broken to even be a force ghost? Did he think she didn't love him? Or was he too afraid to face his mom and uncle yet. Wherever she went, fighting off the remnants of the first order and keeping the peace she always looked for even the smallest trace of his spirit, the barest whisper. But, she always found nothing.

As far as she knew, Ben Solo was truly gone.

On the first day of the festivities the resistance and the other village members(they were staying on a small snow planet named Vandor) decorated the tree in the middle of the village square. Rey, Poe, Finn, Kaydel, and Rose had gone there to stop remnants of the first order from attacking and stealing supplies from the villagers and thought that they might stay for the holidays. Lando and Chewie were originally with them but had gone to visit Chewie's family for the holidays. During the Christmas tree lighting the ache in Rey's chest grew so much that she had to bite her lip from crying. She wanted Ben by her side more than anything. Rose must have seen something because later she asked Rey to come on a walk with her. Rey had agreed to even though she really hadn't wanted to. "You know, Rey," Rose had said as they walked through the snow. "I know how to feel. I lost my sister, Paige and I still miss her very much." 

"Why are you bringing this up Rose?" Rey asked, not quite knowing where Rose was going with this. She wasn't sure she wanted to know in fact.

"I can tell the reason that you have been sad the last year is because you miss someone. Whether it is your parents or someone else I won't ask you. But we've sometimes seen you crying when you think we haven't."

"Well I am not crying. And I don't know why you are thinking that. I'm just distracted by my training- that's all."

"I see a teardrop on your eye right now," she said. Rey hadn't even realized she had been crying.

Rey reached up to wipe it off. She took a breath to compose herself. "Thanks for asking, but I'm fine." Rose didn't look so convinced.

Later that day she realized she couldn't find the dice. She would always hold them whenever she was missing Ben but now they were mysteriously gone from her dresser. Now she didn't have anything to help comfort her from mourning his loss. She spent at least an hour looking for them. "I don't understand, Rose. They were just right here. I think i would have remembered moving them."

"I haven't moved or seen them," Rose said. Rose opened her mouth to say more but Rey spoke before she could.

"Don't tell Finn or Poe but I keep them around to remind me of B- the person that I lost." Rose nodded and grabbed the necklace that she and her sister had used also have and nodded.

"Someone wouldn't have stolen them I am sure they are around here somewhere," Poe said when he came to help her look for them.

"Are you sure you had them here," Finn asked. "Maybe you forgot where you moved them." Rey was sure. She knew if she would have moved them she would have remembered doing it. Maybe it was Luke and Leia trying to tell her something. 

Finn and Poe had everyone write down what they wanted so everyone could get each other a present. Rey didn't write down anything. She knew what she wanted for Christmas but she knew it would never come true. She was sure to get Rose a nice necklace at the local market though with the help of BB8.

For the next few weeks Rey tried to get into the festive spirit but never really could. She burned the cookies that Kaydal and Rose wanted to bake. "It's no big deal," they had said but Rey knew deep down that they were both disappointed. She didn't really sing that well during caroling. Eventually she just pretended to sing. She accidentally knocked the Christmas tree over twice. Even her training was going bad and to make a long story short she accidentally destroyed someone's shed. (In her defense it had come out of nowhere.) Luckily she didn't break BB8 because he did his best to stay out of her way. He mostly hung around Poe after the shed incident. "My droid is scared of you," Poe remarked to Rey. To make matters worse she had a price over her head and bounty hunters from all over the galaxy were coming to collect the price on her head. Just a few days after the tree lighting the fourth and the third most feared bounty hunters came looking for her, a masked mercenary Twak Tain with his loyal assassin droid. She had been training when they had attacked her from behind. Luckily she had managed to chase them off, leaving a pretty good light saber mark on that droid. Feared as they were, they were no match for a Jedi. For now that was. After his incident Finn asked her if she would like it if he or Poe was with her more to help her keep watch.  
"Rey you are a target. Your face is all over the holonet. They are coming all over the galaxy to find you and turn you in for the reward," Poe said.

"They won't stop at anything. Safely is in numbers," Finn said. "I'll be fine I don't need to be babysat," she snapped. For winced when she saw both of them flinch. She didn't like the idea of being watched a lot. She knew that Ben could take those guys down easily.

The next few days weren't an improvement. The villagers kept trying to befriend her but she wasn't in much of a friending mood. Eventually she just stayed in her room. Finn, Rose, Poe, and Kaydel encouraged her to come out but she rarely did. She did have one good day when Kaydel offered to braid her hair and did a pretty good job at both hers and Rose's. She started to cry when she thought of running her hands through Ben's hair. Bounty hunters were only motivated by money and it would be satisfying for Ben and her to take them down one by one. That would never happen though.

Zorri Bliss came by with Babu Frik to visit Poe and stayed about a day. She really didn't seem like she celebrated the holidays. Babu sure seemed interested in all of the different decorations. "That's one hefty price on your head," she said to Rey when they all were sitting by the fire. Like Rey needed any reminders.

Two days before Christmas eve Rey had to face down yet another bounty hunter sent to hunt her down by the leader of the first order, who was still unknown to most everybody. Some people thought it was one of the commanders who had chosen to take the mantle for him or herself but one knew for sure. Her name was Zara and she had been the second most feared bounty hunter in the galaxy. She was dressed in all black like a ninja and was the possibly one of the best shots in the galaxy. Rey had been feeling depressed that day so she had gone to a small bar all by herself. The bartender had given her the drink she had ordered. She sat down and began to sip. Even the drink seemed like it had no taste. Her emotions were so out of control that she hadn't noticed the gun pointing at the back of her head. Luckily Finn had been nearby and had sensed that something was wrong. He had shot her and she had fled as fast as she had come in. "Rey are you ok?" Rey nodded. She actually secretly wished the blaster would have hit it's target. "This is why we should always stick together."

Rey didn't have the energy to correct him.

On Christmas Eve while her friends were out caroling and then out for dinner and drinks. Rey stayed in her room that she shared with Rose. She had told them she had a migraine when they had asked her while she wasn't going to come. She didn't like lying one bit. "Rey are you sure you'll be ok," Finn asked. Both he and Rose looked very concerned. She hadn't told any of them what had been really troubling her. "One of us or Kaydel could stay with you if you want," Poe offered.

"No I'll be quite alright. Really." Rey knew she was anything but alright. "Contact us if you need anything," Rose said. Rey did her best to smile. When they all walked out and shut the door behind them she collapsed on the ground and cried for an hour. BB8 beeped at her in concern. Her body shook and she sobbed so hard. The snow still swirled around outside. She longed for the opportunity to get to know Ben, her soulmate. She longed for his touch for him to say that she wasn't alone. She would even take the bad moments too. She didn't have anything to remember him by so she just hugged herself to sleep while crying. She still couldn't find those dice. That was truly funny because she could have sworn she had put theme on her desk. As she feel asleep BB8 stayed near her in case she needed anything. 

Christmas morning was beautiful with a snow storm that swirled everywhere. Rey knew that her only Christmas wish wasn't going to come true and she didn't even want to get up to open presents. Hadn't really asked for them too. She looked out the window and watched the snow swirl. She wondered if Ben liked snow. The snow fight she had with Kylo Ren seemed like 100 years ago. After what seemed at eternity, Rey heard footsteps and then a knock on the door. It was Finn. "Rey? Um we miss you and if you want to we have some presents for you." Presents?? She hadn't even written down what she had wanted!! She dressed and then went down stairs. She let her hair down today.

Finn, Rose, and Poe had finished opening up their presents. Kaydel had been called to an emergency meeting with the other resistance leaders last night. Apparently there was some development on who the new leader of the first order was. Whoever it was, they were no doubt the ones who had put a target on Rey's head. They had gotten each other some jackets. Rose had gotten a new medallion from Finn. She help up Rey's necklace too. "I really like it," she said. Poe handed her his wrapped present. "Open mine first." She opened it to find a flight jacket. "There so we all can match," Poe said. "Thanks Poe." Finn gave his next. It was a new blaster belt. Her old one had gotten ripped about six months ago during an outer rim dispute. Rose's was a pair of new boots. Her boots had been damaged from all the wear and tear of traveling everywhere. "I love them all," Rey said with a smile finally returning to her face.

"We love you too Rey," Rose said.

"And whatever is bothering you we'll always be here for you," Finn added.

"Whenever and wherever you need us," Poe concluded. BB8 beeped in agreement. 

Rey nodded, even though she knew that none of them could ever bring Ben back. Even though they were nice friends, she still longed for her dyad in the force. Just then, some movement on the Christmas tree caught her eye. She turned her head to the tree. She was surprised it was even still standing because of getting knocked down two times. She scanned the tree to find the source of what had caught her eye and was shocked to discover that hanging from one of the branches from the tree was the dice. She opened her mouth but no words came out. She picked them up to make sure they were real. They were solid. But how had they gotten there??

"G-guys did you," she held the dice up tentatively. She was almost afraid to know the answer. "Did you find these?"

"No I didn't find them did you find them," Poe asked Finn. Finn shook his head. Finn turned to Rose. "Rose did you find them?"

"Can't say that did," Rose said. Of course you didn't Rey smiled as she looked out the window at the swirling snow, dice in her hand, for the first time in a long time not truly feeling alone. Most importantly she felt hope. She still couldn't feel Ben. She didn't even know if he was a force ghost or something more alive because of their dyad. But she had no doubt that somehow, this was his doing. She didn't know when or how he would come back to her. but now she had a spark of hope. His last words to her _I will always be with you_ came floating back with her.

 _Be with me Ben. Be with me. You are my other half. My dyad. I know you are out there still. When you can, please come back to me. I miss you. I promise that when you come back i won't ever hurt you again._ Stabbing him still haunted her. There was so many things she wanted to ask and tell him. She wanted to get to know her soulmate in the force. Her other half. What was his favorite food? What did he like to do for fun? There were so many things she really didn't know about Ben. He was the first one to have her never feel alone. True he was flawed and had made mistakes. He had done terrible things. And she had thought he was a monster at first. But deep inside, she had began to see the hurt and broken boy underneath the shell of the so called Kylo Ren. Kylo Ren hadn't been capable of loving but Ben was. Ben was a beautiful soul with deep sad eyes that Rey never could have imaged could be in the monster who was Kylo Ren.

Rey clutched the dice in her hand, half fearing that they would disappear like Ben had. But it stayed solid in her hand. She squeezed it even tighter. It soon left an imprint on her hand.

"Rey want to go and sing carols?" For the first time Rey had a bit of holiday spirit. She felt like Ben would want her to live her life while waiting for him to come back to her. In the meantime, she would wait and hope. She hoped that she would never loose faith in him again. She turned to her three friends with a smile. "Sure. Let's go." So she grabbed her jacket and boots and went off with them. Even though he couldn't sing, BB8 rolled right behind them beeping happily. As the snow swirled around her she looked up into the crisp winter air and smiled. "This is the happiest we've seen you in a while Rey," Finn said to her. "Is everything ok?" Rose and Poe looked at Rey attentively too.

Rey smiled at her friend and put a hand on her shoulder. "Finn I've never been better." _Merry Christmas to you too, Ben. I'm sure that wherever you are you are enjoying your holiday free from the darkside. I hope you know that your family and I forgive you for everything._ She had seen Leia and Luke in passing moments but they hadn't really talked about Ben. Maybe because wherever or whatever he was he hadn't yet appeared to them because he wasn't ready to talk to them. Maybe she could help him with that. Regardless, she knew that no one was ever really gone. Somewhere inside, the dice were just were she had left them. On the Christmas tree with the light all around them.


	2. Bonus Scene of the Hoidays are Here

On the same Christmas Day it was a very different story elsewhere in the galaxy. On a star destroyer in the outer rim the two leaders of the first order awaited him. The one who would solve all their problems. Their hero, their savior. One was a former officer who was obsessed with Kylo Ren. He collected all of Kylo's old stuff and would display it in his room. His name was Zane but no one ever called him that because he always called himself Kylo Ren. "I'll become even greater than the first one." Ironically he couldn't find the records on how he had died. The other was a former advisor to Kylo Ren, named Rena also looking to make her way to the top.She hated Zane's Kylo Ren infatuation. But for now, she was stuck with him. Their plan was to suceed where the first order had failed. They were also made up of some of Palpatine's sith fleet that had escaped the destruction. 

They all only had one problem: Her. Rey Skywalker. The last Jedi.

Since Rey had bested all the other bounty hunters they had sent her way they would rely on the most feared bounty hunter of the whole galaxy: Yin Yana. No one knew what he looked like as he always wore a fierce looking mask that was white and grey. No one knew who or really what he was. No one knew where he had come from either. He had been in the business for five years now. He would sometimes let his visor down and let his enemies see his eyes to scare them. This was known to be the scariest thing he'd ever do. The few who had seen his eyes didn't dare describe them. He raised several old jedi temples for the heck of it and even showed some force sensitive abilities. He had briefly gone off the maps since his last job and was thought to be dead but now he was back in business. And it would be him who would end Rey for good. He kept his head held high as arrogant and proud his was. No one dared to mess with him. He stood before the two leaders and didn't even bow in respect to them in any way. He really didn't want to be working for them. "I have come to learn about my latest job," he said in a distorted voice. 

"Yes we would like to you bring us Rey Skywalker the Jedi, dead or alive. Just don't completely blow her up. If you bring her alive she'll be dead soon enough. We will torture her to the point where she'll wish she was dead."

"Skywalker?? Wow she must be related to the legendary Luke Skywalker. His daughter perhaps?? This should be easy. What's my cut?"

"We'll give you a down payment of six thousand credits. And when you get her we'll give you triple that." The bounty hunter growled an inhuman sounding growl.

"Listen up I'm not trying to be generous here. Give me ten thousand as a down payment."

Rena laughed so hard she nearly fell out of the chair. Zane joined in. "And why would we do that?? We need money if we are going to conquer the galaxy know. Beating rebel scum isn't cheep. Plus we have the whole republic we have to fight."

The bounty hunter didn't even flinch.

"Yeah and you know what? The old Kylo Ren would have handed it to you if you had pulled such crap like this you bantha scumbag," said Zane. "And I'll let you have it." He smiled underneath his mask.

"Listen here buddy. Kylo Ren was weak and so are you. I had no respect for him and I certainly don't for you. I don't respect people they respect me. And you'll regret ever having said that."

He just removed a thermal detonator from his pocket and held it up. Zane wished he had never said anything and shrunk back. Rena glared at him. _You just had to open up your stupid mouth._ "Or this. Please a wise choice. I'd have no regrets."

There was a moment of silence. Yana wasn't standing down.

"Ok fine. Ten thousand credits. We trust you'll have the girl for us."

"You won't be disappointed." Rena handed him the credit disk and he walked off proud of himself, his grey cape flowing behind him. Oddly enough he didn't flick his visor down this time to try and intimidate them.

_He was going to be Rey's worst nightmare._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys like my first fanfic. I will post the follow up story as soon as I can.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Reylo/Star Wars fanfic I hope you enjoy it. This Christmas I was so happy that Ben redeemed himself but yet sad that he had died. I have faith however that either through the dyad or the WBW he will find himself back with Rey. After this I am planing on writing a fanfic on how Ben will come back in a most surprising way. Always remember that no one is ever really gone and to always have faith it what might seem impossible.


End file.
